July 27, 2025, 2:52 pm | Read time: 5 minutes

It seems somewhat crazy. Never before in human history has it been easier to find a new favorite person. Dating apps open the door to a world of countless seekers who want to fall in love via smartphone. However, this is where one of the problems begins: with so many options, who is ultimately the right one?

Dating App Providers Welcome Growing Number of Singles

Studies show that the number of involuntary singles has been slowly but steadily increasing for many years. This seems absurd, especially as new dating apps are popping up like love mushrooms. Is online dating heading in the wrong direction? More apps and more singles don’t sound like a success model from the user’s perspective.

App providers have a different calculation. For them, every couple that finds each other through their software means two lost users. Therefore, technical tricks must help keep people in the dating universe as long as possible. Sounds pretty unromantic.

Online Dating Works Like a Slot Machine

Thomas R. Köhler, who focuses on cybersecurity in his main profession, explored the technical intricacies of dating providers for his book “The Online Dating Trap.” “Online dating works like a slot machine,” the author vividly describes the mechanism of digital dating. “Players occasionally receive a reward. And while pressing the blinking button becomes addictive with slot machines, in the online dating world, it’s the swiping.” That is, the swipe right when the image displayed on the smartphone triggers feelings of happiness.

“The smartphone has ushered in a major system change in partner searching,” emphasizes Thomas R. Köhler. “People used to sit in front of computers; now, mobile first is the rule. Apps suggest that I can easily meet people from anywhere, filtered to those in my immediate vicinity.” This sounds tempting, and that’s exactly what dating app providers want.

Apps Constantly Evaluate in the Background

“The algorithm, for example, is particularly interested in how often I use the app,” reports Thomas R. Köhler on the results of his data research using various test profiles. “If I’m a frequent user, I’m rewarded with matches. If I rarely check in, the app threatens that if I don’t like a profile soon, no matches will be shown to me.”

Women are significantly more selective than men when swiping. They swipe right on only about five percent of displayed profiles. Male users swipe almost indiscriminately, reaching a rate of 65 percent. Swipe behavior is one of many criteria by which users are evaluated by the apps. From these criteria, the underlying algorithm creates a score of how “attractive” a person is. Broadly speaking, the app divides all users into three attractiveness groups: top third, average, and bottom third.

Users are constantly evaluated in online dating. Based on their score, a person is shown other potential partners on a similar attractiveness level. “And sometimes people who, according to the app, belong to the average or bottom third group are shown a profile from a higher category. This is a random reward, similar to a slot machine,” emphasizes Thomas R. Köhler.

Read also: Beware of these nasty scams in online dating!

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Online Dating Is a Lucrative Business

Users almost imperceptibly enter a kind of dependency that usually doesn’t lead to true love. For providers, love is merely a means to an end. Their focus is solely on profit maximization. It’s no coincidence that dating providers operate multiple apps for different target groups. One of the most well-known dating app providers, Tinder, also seeks additional revenue with the app Hinge. In Germany, the Parshipmeet Group bundles several dating apps under one umbrella brand, including the flagship apps Parship and Elitepartner.

“This shows the profit potential of the entire digital dating industry,” emphasizes Thomas R. Köhler. “Most men have little chance in online dating without a premium account. Conversely, women are almost overwhelmed with likes, which significantly increases the frustration experienced by this group in online dating. As an app provider, I must find a healthy middle ground to keep the large group of disappointed users on the platform as long as possible.”

Thomas R. Köhler speaks of a toxic business model. People relinquish their freedom of choice in partner searching to large corporations and receive false promises in return. The extent of emotional frustration when no one from the vast pool of potential partners shows interest can be imagined by anyone.

Proper Online Dating

Despite the results of his research, Thomas R. Köhler wouldn’t fundamentally advise good friends against online dating. Certain behavioral rules should be followed.

“Online dating can be one of several options,” advises the expert. “Definitely don’t linger too long in the app; instead, arrange a first meeting as soon as possible after the initial written contact. This way, you get a personal impression of the other person.” Because a person’s personality is the great unknown in digital dating.

Read also: First meeting with a stranger? How to protect yourself in online dating

At least app providers are trying to better capture people’s personalities through new features. Some apps allow short audio and video clips to be added to profiles. “This is still the biggest shortcoming of the online dating industry. Personality and character are greatly overlooked,” criticizes Thomas R. Köhler, looking into the future of dating apps. “Solutions may emerge for this. However, I see this as a task for the next generation. From my perspective, it won’t be implemented technically anytime soon.”